Sunday, July 16th

It's Jen again... So my doctor has released me to go home whenever I want. It looks like I will be checking out of here on Friday with any luck. Marie is tentatively scheduled to give me more donor lymphocytes again on Friday. Hopefully, that will finally induce GVHD so my AML can go into remission. I have made friends here at Hopkins. Jill is also 28 and has the same kind of AML I do and she was diagnosed one day before on Dec 22nd. Kinda weird... Her AML seems to be even more resistant than mine. She is looking into a Cord Blood Clinical Trial out at the University of Minnesota. If my procedures do not work, we may be going out there together.

When I was diagnosed, my doctors kept telling me how strange it was that I had AML as it was known to be a childhood or an elderly disease. I can tell you that I have seen many patients in their 20's dealing with AML. I just wonder how and why... Benzene is said to be the culprit, but we all come into contact with benzene everyday in cigarette smoke, gas humes and cleaning solvents. I know I have always said that if we live long enough we will all end up with some form of cancer, I just haven't lived long enough yet.

Some good news... I have FINALLY stopped losing weight. So you all can try and stop feeding me! Chemo sucks because it changes how food tastes and can leave me with no desire to eat. For instance, I LOVE chocolate - however, chemo has hightened my sense of sweet so I have had barely any chocolate or anything sweet in the last 6 months. Trust me, it sucks when you can't even enjoy your own bday cake. Plus my appetite in general has shrunk. But I am holding steady at 150 lbs. I have lost 70lbs so far and thank god I had it to lose. I feel like a skelton to begin with, but my friend Jill is down to only 88lbs so I have nothing to complain about. The hardest thing about the weight lose has been muscle atrophy. I have always had meat on my bones and much of it being muscle. I haven't been this thin since probably my freshman year of high school, but its still not the same as I was in great shape then and now I am just skinny (which I would NEVER describe myself as). But my husband did bring me up my Pilates tapes and mat. I was able to actually do it once last week. Its a little more difficult with a line running into my chest and an IV machine attached to me, but I made it work.

Time to get ready for another Grey's Anatomy re-run. Oh, single friends... there are tons of single Dr. McDreamy's here for men and women... so come visit me ;)