Post from Jill

While I was in the hospital library - Heather called telling me we were allowed to see Jen - but it might not be a pretty sight. I then decided to take my time to finish up my updating and emails - as I wasn't sure I could handle going into Jen's room.I got a cup of coffee and came to the 5th floor. I didn't see Heather or Wendy - and thought that I came to Baltimore for one reason - to see Jen. I decided that I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.
I walked into room 5C-11 and Wendy was sitting by Jen's side and Jeremy, sister, mom, aunt, heather, and mother-in-law was sitting in the room as well.After about 10 minutes Wendy asked if she could say a prayer before she had to take her flight. Of course that was okay - and Wendy said a beautiful prayer. Everyone in the room cryed as Wendy spoke. I can't remember most of what she said - but she mentioned how beautiful and amazing of a person Jen is.
Jeremy, Heather and I walked Wendy to her car, made sure she was okay to drive to the airport and hugged her goodbye.
We walked back up to the room and sat with Jen again. Today the nurses were not visiting as often - even though Jen needed them to. Jen's mother-in-law ended up explaining to the nursing staff that Jen is still a patient even if she is on her way to a better place....after that - the nurses didn't really leave Jen's side.
Not too long after Heather went out of the room to call Kelly, during this time the family stood besides Jen. I continued to sit in the background. Jen's breathing slowed down quite a bit...I then texted Chef and stated "she is dying". Then her eyes opened half way and the family began crying. The nurse informed us this was normal. I could feel her spirit leaving us - I began to sob. I quickly left the room to find Heather - as she was the only one who was not with Jen at that moment.
When I left the room I saw everyone at the Nurse's station staring at a screen - I assumed it showed that Jen was dying at that moment. I quickly went the other direction. A social worker chased me and asked if I was alright - I walked faster and nodded my head. I told the social worker I was just looking for my friend.The social worker left me be and I walked to search for Heather....she was in the waiting room talking on the phone...she saw me sobbing....told the phone she had to go and held me and asked me what happened.
I exclaimed that I thought Jen was dying and maybe we shouldn't go back there...the family was there and I didn't want to get in the way. Heather suggested we walk to the nurse's station. We got there quick - I don't remember the walk.The nurse had red eyes - and I knew, but I had to make sure. I asked outloud to the nurse "did she pass" - all she did was nod as she put on her purple latex gloves.
Heather sobbed louder than before....I sobbed and hugged Heather. Jeremy's mom came out of the room and hugged us. She told us "Jen is in a better place now," she told us Jen wasn't in anymore pain and continued to hold us. Then Jen's mom came out and told us to come see Jen because she is not in pain anymore. We walked in Jen's room and I went to her bedside and rubbed her bald head. It was so soft...tiny little fuzzes were on it. I made a wish - thinking she would want me to. Heather rubbed Heather's arm and one of the mother's hands rubbed my back. I then looked around the room and wondered if Jen's spirit was floating around watching us telling us it was alright...just like in the show "GhostWhisperer" hoping it is truly like that.
I then grabbed my bag and told Heather I had to write. I came out to the waiting room - and decided to send a few text messages - as I was still sobbing. All I wrote was "she is gone" and sent to everyone who I thought would want to know. I then sent Chef an extra message telling him how I wish he was with me. He sent one back stating he wanted to hold me. I got many messages from people stating they were sorry. Some people called me back - but talking is not possible for me at the moment.
Heather came out to the waiting room and began making the calls. I just typed and typed....Aunt Sue came out and made more calls and so did mother-in-law.
And now - we are here....and I must say...the hardest and one of the best experiences I ever went through.